In tribute to Piper, my beloved dog of 17 years, I am a certified Companion Animal End of Life Doula. My experience with her inspires me to support others making the same end of life decisions.
Piper was my first dog as an adult. The first companion animal I cared for from puppy through adulthood. She was my greatest teacher in living, loving and being present. When her end came, she was blind, deaf and had dementia. And while she still appeared to enjoy a positive quality of life — eating, playing, wagging her tail — I struggled to accept that is was time to let her go.
The same concerns of grief and loss apply equally to animals as to humans. Animals can’t tell you explicitly what they want.
People often say your companion animal will tell you when they are ready to go. But it’s not always so clear cut — especially if you haven’t experienced it before. It certainly wasn’t the case with Piper and me. I believe she knew I wasn’t ready, and held on for my benefit, loyal girl that she was. Though I asked her “to let me know” many times, she wouldn’t.
When the dreaded moment finally arrived, and I could no longer ignore the inevitable, I felt awful. I had struggled, out of love (and selfishness), with her end of life decision for many more weeks than was probably best for her. A dear friend wisely advised me to let her know I would be ok after she was gone and that made all the difference. Our last days together were blessed and beautiful as I finally allowed myself to accept her absence, begin to grieve and plan her transition.
Our vet was wonderful as well: caring, compassionate and present. She made Piper’s transition a memory I will cherish. And I am eternally grateful to her and the friends who shared my sorrow and loss.
